So it's been a while since I last posted and I wrote a pretty cool story. tell me what you think.

Strange Awakening Part I

I don’t know how to explain everything that you are about to hear but I’ll give it a good try. It all started on a warm Sunday afternoon. Oh and I should probably tell you, my name is Felix. Hm where was I now? Ah yes that’s right. So I had just gotten done eating a delicious lunch when I decided to lie down on the couch and take a nap. Oh it felt so nice to take a rest after eating. But when I woke up, I found that I wasn’t in my living room…well not the one I was used to. Yeah this is one of those times when you might be getting a little confused so just bear with me.

When I looked around, I had noticed that I was lying in an old run down version of my house. Things looked a little overgrown in what I thought was my yard. “Hello?” “Anybody?”  I must have kept calling out for hours, but nobody ever replied. I decided to go looking for someone who could tell me just what was going on.

Suddenly, I stumbled across a small shack with a faint glow in the window, as if someone had lit a candle. I walked up to the door and knocked. “Hello? Does anyone live here? My name is Felix and…” Just then I was cut off by a very loud old man. “What are you doing here!” the voice said.” I…uh... I was just” then he cut me off again “Just trying to break into my home and steal my food?” To me this guy seemed about as crazy as they came. I tried to respond. “I was just looking for someone to tell me what is going on that’s all.” " What do you mean by that?" the man said with suspicion.” I...uh... wait haven’t you noticed how everything around here is so desolate?” …...TO BE CONTINUED

So a dyslexic man walks into a bra.
Why does an elephant have a trunk? Because a suitcase just won't do!
So a priest and a rabbi walk into a bar and the bar tender says "Is this some kind of joke?"
An airline captain was breaking in a new blonde stewardess. The route they were flying had a layover in another city. Upon their arrival, the captain showed the stewardess the best place for airline personnel to eat, shop and stay overnight.

The next morning, as the pilot was preparing the crew for the day's route, he noticed the new stewardess was missing. He knew which room she was in at the hotel and called her up wondering what happened. She answered the phone, crying, and said she couldn't get out of her room. "You can't get out of your room?" the captain asked, "Why not?"

The stewardess replied: "There are only three doors in here," she sobbed, "one is the bathroom, one is the closet, and one has a sign on it that says 'Do Not Disturb'!"
Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy takes out his phone and calls the emergency services.

He gasps: "My friend is dead! What can I do?" The operator says: "Calm down, I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then a gunshot is heard. Back on the phone, the guy says: "OK, now what?"

What do you call it when the flash plays xbox? FLASH GAMING XD!
Chad will put the jokes here